Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 championship side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the disease.
"There's something about facing the future and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he said.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his current health, his family and planning ahead for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's trauma or perhaps I handle situations differently, and after I have the information, it's easier," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the condition, a number of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the organization MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a one-third of people within a year and more than half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely strongly concentrated on just embracing and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly blessed that the primary decision I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much period with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Connection
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with research suggesting the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the oxygen accessible and producing damage to nerve cells, consistent, intense physical activity can initiate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the line-out in the critical moment of play, setting a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Support System
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a few other previous team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the present, just having that type of love and acceptance that people are present is the crucial thing," he said.
"This game is such a great family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to consider your love your career, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so long a period with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will desire to help in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
